few days din blog quite busy with work and sch started too. everything seems to be fine... he's busy with his assignment too. had no idea wad can i do for him too. the thing im worrying, therefore still no ans yet. crap... its been weeks. hse chaos getting heavier. grandma n mom din tok already. quite tired over this issue. i wanna move out fast! have decided to move out end of dec or somewhere there. ~.~ i told him, so he's coming along too. its going to be a busy weekend. tiring month. its been a long time since i feel his hand, when we're just 2 of us. chilling, slacking n talking. so much things cramp inside my heart. ~.~ our conversation are getting lesser n lesser. i dun wish to bring it up onto him, he's getting irritated if im going to bring up again. ytd i was so angry n upset over my family things... i didnt get to him, i know he's busy. so i was alone...

had a new collegue whose my cs fren. haha! ^^ another smoking kaki ehh..~

BEN: SITTING BY THE WINDOW
SINGING SONGS OF LOVE
WISHING YOU WERE HERE
BECAUSE THE MEMORY'S NOT ENOUGH
WEAR MY MASK IN SILENCE
PRETENDING I'M ALRIGHT
IF YOU COULD SEE THEN YOU WOULD BE
HERE STANDING BY MY SIDE
IT MAY BE HARD TO BELIEVE
BUT GIRL YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I NEED
IT MAY BE HARD ALONG THE WAY
IT'S THIS FEELING I GET
WHEN BLUE SKIES TURN TO GREY
FEELS LIKE I'M WALKING IN THE RAIN
I FIND MYSELF TRYING TO WASH AWAY THE PAIN
CAUSE I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME SOME SHELTER
CAUSE I'M FADING AWAY
AND BABY, I'M WALKING IN THE RAIN
CHRISTIAN: EVERY SINGLE HOUROF EVERY SINGLE DAY
I NEED TO CRY, MY EYES ARE DRY
I'VE CRIED MY TEARS AWAY
CAN'T HELP BUT REMEMBER
HOW YOU MADE ME FEEL
YOU DRESSED MY SOUL AND MADE ME WHOLE
YOU MADE MY LIFE COMPLETE
IT MAY BE HARD TO BELIEVE
BUT GIRL YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I NEED
IT MAY BE HARD ALONG THE WAY
IT'S THIS FEELING I GET
WHEN BLUE SKIES TURN TO GREY
FEELS LIKE I'M WALKING IN THE RAIN
I FIND MYSELF TRYING TO WASH AWAY THE PAIN
CAUSE I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME SOME SHELTER
CAUSE I'M FADING AWAY
AND BABY, I'M WALKING IN THE RAIN
BEN: OF ALL WE'VE SAID AND DONE
REMAINS THE MEMORIES OF DAYS
WHEN LIFE WAS FUNBUT NOW WHEN YOU ARE GONE
I SIT ALONE TO WATCH THE
SETTING OF THE SUN
FEELS LIKE I'M WALKING IN THE RAIN
I FIND MYSELF TRYING TO WASH AWAY THE PAIN
CAUSE I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME SOME SHELTER
CAUSE I'M FADING AWAY
AND BABY, I'M WALKING IN THE RAIN
CHRISTIAN: I SAID BABY, I'M WALKING IN THE RAIN

ahhh~ baby i miss you ~.~

我的话越来越多是因为关心你.

这世上最重要的不止是誓言
只要你常常记得亲亲我的脸
我会永远记得这个今天还有
很久的那一天我也要有你陪.

不管多少阻碍.

wad a bad day =( quite sad... quarrelled with my grandma n i shouted at her, i didnt mean it! but their too much. they really think my dad not around can bully my mother. i really hate ppl bullying my mom. this really sux! i dunno wad they want, everyone is telling me diff thingy! sick of it... after quarrelling with her i went down n keep crying! ew! n i vomitted but dunno why got bubble.. or i shld say, i vomit bubble.. sighh~!!

thx dar for keeping me accompanied. =)

what a tired day =) went to work today till 715 n took a cab back. was very tired... hse is too happening, too much things to think n to make myself clear.

friday after exam... went to play dota n had dinner with ling n her bf, this is the 1st time i saw her bringing her bf out with me! after met dar ... we went to play dota... =) n met " maria " lucien too.. =)

sat haf to work! was very upset with my relative. they really like bullying my mom! well i wun let it happen...

thx dar for coming down again =)

sometime when i haf so much to say to him, but whenever i sees him, i dun even remember of wad to say to him... felt relaxed.

i guess this month till jan would be the hardest month for me. with you ard i could put everything back ahead. i dont know why.

the 18th day. =)

^^. still quite tired! ytd was a busy day! think back didnt slp for 24hrs xD gonna slp soon again !

went to work! wah kao bring alot poster back... stupid 1... haha den play dota at work! as in after work lor play dota at office.. den went back home, suppose to meet zy at zouk 830 n i was late! i reach at 11! LOL~ well was quite upset/angry with wendy lah, i quite cannot accept ppl who cannot make up their decision, why would you have to say u'll get back to me n end up u didnt? at least my fren would say, if i come i call u, if i not coming means i wun call? =) sadded... i saw the queue so long ... headed to MOS! quite boring.. had my lunch+dinner+supper at clark quay coffee club, ate fish and chip lor and some galic bread xD ! very full! after food went back to MOS str8 away drink 3 cup martel >.< ~ crazyness came out at about 2plus... went to the bridge to sit with ling... aw~ backache... after that met lings fren, john, kind of crapy.. and can dance oso haha ! after that met dumdum for n go back tgt ! play dota with him until fall aslp! so tired.. haha, thou slept for so long im still tired! >.<

woke up at 7pm+. kept calling dumdum.. like pig like that! ahahaa! but i oni manage to get him at 11plus pm den he answered e call... and say he wanna slp ! rwar~!! so actually i had waited for him, but well its ok =) i thought he had headed back to slp, but.. he came online! he said he cant get back to slp... =] partially it was my fault which i disturb him from slp. thou wad he told me stuff when i think its kind of late, when i already disturbed him from slp... but it will not happen next time... my grandma is doing something silly again, this time im oso angry too.. how can she wan to rent out the room without discussing with us 1st? even thou the hse belongs to her, am i invisible? ask me to move my things to my parents room, so much things in the room how to slp? the hse nvr pay and want to sell, where to slp? im so tired of all this nonsense, why cant i have a 1 day peace at home? i can even relax my ears at my hse. im quite upset today... wad a bad night.. i was jus hoping to meet dar, as we agreed to meet up n do some work. when this 2 days din get to see him! but seems like ... sigh.. agreement will always be an agreement, wad i mean is wad i mean. when i was hoping to see him n to tell him wad had happen end up well, i didnt get to see him, but after 2 rounds of dota he is telling me jeff told him to go n eat, he could go with him n not me when i waited for him so long? i will not forget that brother 1st, but we've agreed to something? im just holding to my words oso wrong? can even we have some decision among ourself? sometimes i just need your attention to listen to me to share n help me, ... sometimes its just the 2 of us? to communicate more... to be even closer? i dun wan to have the day which may lead us to drift apart. i just felt very upset that my tears just flows.

how am i suppose to tell u that, i need a shoulder to cry on.

the 16th day.
怎么样我都会珍惜

the day i cried. 06 nov 07.

yeayea! just came back... wad a long day since ytd! jus now while bathing half way OMFG~ I SAW LIZARD! scare me den i quickly bath >.< make me feel like vomitting. sighh!! disgusting when it looks like transparent like that! DUHH

quite relief after i found out the thing im worrying is FALSE alarm~ ^^

ytd, sunday, went to town with zhongying ! met up with xiaoling n ling, + jaree n her bf. =) had a drink somewhere at centre point. after that buy chicken rice for dumdum! wah eat 2 packet. duhh~ i thought jeff would have it too. but i guess i heard it wrongly... was trying to help him do some paper cutting! yea trying very hard to learn abt it... =) left his place at 11am... headed home n headed to sch for exam.. i think FLUNG! omg. sighh~ hahaha... and went to play mahjong ! till about 1030 pm n went to meet insane dumdum ! until jus got home -_-~

thx honey wendy ! =) i know wad you trying to tell me, but since i've chosen it i have to move on haha, each things take step by step.. =) cover always seems to be the best to anything or perharps everything? i've always noted there's something amissed. well, anything can haf amissed stuff too =) . i know you can sense wad i have for him. women's 6th sense is strong! i do believe it! i always tells myself to be strong and to calm down to talk things out...
but sometimes i think he might find it irritating lah every week ask him diff thing... if i were him i sure cant stand it... but well its the beginning ... not too sure or close oso haf to ask... to prevent any misunderstanding... ^^

wad a girl need most? sense of security.

aight, i have no mood to blog now =) nights peeps! sweet dreams!

yea! finally almost done, dont wanna edit le. the mood of editing is gone. ahhhhh~~ lately very fan. cannot eat well oso... =( my mood now is like i wanna drink drank drunk !

something is troubling me. hais, now im trying to prepare for the worst outcome. i dunno how to bring it up...

im afraid to lose him...

im the dumbest girl on earth!

yeayea~ gonna slp soon after finish scanning my virus, n call dumdum at 1130am !

well, im chatting with JC, dumdum's bro now... there's smth i wanna share ~

CORLEONE says:
no i his da laopo
ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
isit
ΒӘĽĽ - 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
isit
CORLEONE says:no lah all my laopo
CORLEONE says:when i became the girl
ΒӘĽĽ - 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
nvm 1 day i will shoo u all off the " laopo's " sitting
CORLEONE says:haha wait long long lah

ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉//* - says:
sad
ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉//* - says:
i thought u're nice
ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉//* - says:
u will encourage me
ΒӘĽĽ - .*//看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉//* - says:
den u pour cold water
ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
nvm lah jc
ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
i know le
ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉//* - says:
u like this
CORLEONE says:
ya lah ya lah lose to u lah

ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
LOLOL~~~~
CORLEONE says:
give u give u lah

ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
lol fierce liao lo
ΒӘĽĽ - .*//看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
still say gentle.
ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
LOLOL
CORLEONE says:
at least leave the ass for me lah

ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉 //* - says:
..............
ΒӘĽĽ - .*// 看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.*// 你的笑容能给我一种特别的感觉, 一种甜在心里的感觉//* - says:
LOLOL.
CORLEONE says:
haha

DARDAR~~~~~ LOL

today woke at at 6+ pm, SO TIRED ~~~~ haha... had a gd slp =) slept for like 15 hrs! hen shuang! today didnt get to see him ! OMG ~~ weird leh ! yea n didnt tok to him much, he's so busy today. actually wanted to go n find him after his service but he said would be back home earli so ask me need not to go down! BUT !!!!! he reach home so late =( n slept so earli ! will i get to see him tmr? ~.~

next week.. ~ monday n fri off due to exam.. thurs oso off, public holiday.. LOLOL ~ so im attending to work for 2 days in that week? xD

wed night gonna go zouk with my ladies =)

was talking to JC, asking him how did he get to know them n he tells me this !

CORLEONE says:
jiale from rtc but jeff from gary n i know gary the longest he is the closest to me
CORLEONE says:
i really love him

* JC FASTER END TAGGING *
~.~ i wanna put a poll to vote who he ( Dar ) loves soon =] LOL ~

trying to do new layout! thx dora aiai for helping me too >.< ! its not totally done yet.. but soon to be done ! hahaha ~

now its 3am, jus came back from holland, slept at dar's hse. duhh~ tired =] slept about 3hrs i guess, den went down to meet jeff. this dumass! new frens, new probs. new things to learn from wad others have faced. ytd was a tired day, went to meet wendy n my sec sch mates. went to pub den went zouk... suppose would like to go back with dar but ~ well.. didnt have a chance to. lucky i din stay up with him.. he ended up quite late!

went bugis with mom ! hehe.. shop shop shop and got him a T =) hope he likes it. ^^

backache. sighh~

ytd evening was quite emo, actually i did wrote a post, but i was on doubt to post it out not.. cos i didnt want to say anything wrong n get misunderstanding. kind of like.. i quickly go home n thought of having dinner with him... but he said he going clubbing, that's when my heart felt downed. i din tell him.. but well, who doesnt needs freedom? sometimes too tight oso not gd... im learning to how to relax myself in a r/s but has to keep it tight too.. why? becos i dun really wanna see failure in this r/s as i really do put in my heart in le. =) i told myself, becos i dont know him very much well.. so i cant be too tight to him... slowly i will discover the depth part of him ... definately i dun wanna lose him. day by day ppl do grow up.. now its just the beginning ! thou it might be tough, we're strong to maintain it? i hope he has open up his heart to enter my life and open up to allow me to know every bits of him =) i used to dont allow my bf going clubbing or maybe if me or him going club we shld tag along tgt, but now... im having faith n trust in this guy. im not a perfect person or maybe i shld say im not a perfect girl to be gf, i cant expect everything i needed him to do. i used to not giving in to my bf n wants it my ways for the past few yrs. sometimes i really wonder shld i go n look for him everyday? would my presence be his disturbance... =) although he hadnt say anything about our r/s or any probs he has, im jus waiting to share with him =) im not being with someone due to i have to be with him, im being with him is becos i do loves him, and which has already entered part of me. im someone that sometimes i will think too much, im a person who actually ask for perfect. =)

Jeff and Wendy
i got to know wendy thru my dar n frens, a pretty nice girl. loving someone is hard =) i really wan to help them to reconile. but b4 i could step out n help, i guess it has ended. i dont really know wad had happen, b4 i could know it has come to the end !

Jeff : thou you're a gangster or wadever shit, i really dun gif a damn. =) i got so angry this evening when u sent me sms with " KNN " i haf to start to make some noise, sometimes learn to put urself into others ppl shoe n think, n not only ppl whose ard you n who are close to you, everyone are loved. not oni ppl around you. when you're a parent you will know wad im trying to imply. if you had known that your attitude is bad, why cant you jus change it for the seek of being nicer n better to yourself? is it so hard to even treat yourself gd? by mentally ill treat n to hurt yourself does it really worth? people haf to stay claim to settle things, if both side so harsh whose going to be the peace maker?

Wendy: i really hope you both know wad you're doing, its great to have you as fren, its even great that you would even calls me n tell me wad had happen when you knocked off. sry that i cant be there, becos when u called im in my doinky mode~ if you know there's something wrong why dont you be claim n talk n find solution?

seriously you both are having attitude probs. both aint claim, both aint steady. love a person is in this way? i thought it shld be this way... it takes 2 hand to clap, n you have to have a big heart to accept all comments inorder to commit it well. i hope you both can let me help you all to reconile and get the misunderstanding off N GET THE STUBBORNESS OF YOURS AWAY. dun fck ard with me =)

best wishes.

sometimes i do feel fear that if i bring things up to gary he would get angry n sometimes i really have to think twice, why? becos i cant afford to lose someone i love. or maybe to even hurt or allow them think likewise. be steady b4 u say anything that wouldnt make anyone think likewise n NOT saying harsh things, who knows it might not overcome.

at times, you might get to see things which hurt, wad can u do ? shout? quarrel? i dont know.. but i will jus keep quiet n hope he realise... thats the best way..if it cares it will definately say something, if it doesnt he can seriously fark off. becos it doesnt even cares how you feel, or maybe does it have feelings for you?

its all about him =)

its not i dont want you to come its i dun wan to see you get hurt or be angry. =) i just love your presence around me =) <3

× b Ö b b ÿ × says:
will this relationship last?
ΒӘĽĽ - . - says:
i hope =)
× b Ö b b ÿ × says:
ya ..bless u both from me :D
ΒӘĽĽ - . - says:
thx di =) i hope he is my last bf. i really do. haha

i dont know wad is wrong =( ! im deeply hurt by that hit. FCK!

wake up den blog >.<